For those Forced into Rehab Kicking the habit
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Written by: jakiechesummit
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Word Count: 551 |
Date: Sun, 16 Oct 2011 |
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When swim parents found out he was a heroin user they staged a mini intervention with him. When they asked swim "do you want to quit" swim without question said yes. This was just one of those "tell em what they want to hear" type answers. Swim was taken the next day to a rehab (which wasn't successful) and eventually ended with a detox at home. Swim has been clean for 70ish or even 80ish days, the excitement in counting clean time has faded.For a while swim actually fooled himself with his lie into believing he did in fact want to quit. He had that attitude with him while here on DF, but lies dont last long. Who is he kidding, swim never wanted to quit and is now stuck in a real fucked and conflicted situation.Swim knows he is better off, but cant shake thinking about H off. He thinks those who are forced to kick the habit have a high chance of relapsing... correct swim if he is wrong... as he thinks if he had the chance to buy H, he would.
Swim is at a time right now where, he is living at home, and his parents have taking quite a bit of control in his life. He has money but no access to it, which in swims case could be a good thing, he has a strict going out schedule, and if he is given any money... receipts must be brought to explain where the money was spent. Swim has had no problems with this before but after such a long time of all this control and realizing he never really wanted to quit, its taking quite a toll on him. He is frustrated, has anxiety and just doesnt feel comfortable in his surroundings. He goes to NA meetings but the talk of god and spirituality makes swim even more frustrated and depressed. Swim even has problems with his back and has gone to physiotherapy and to a chiropracter, which looked like they helped, but the pain has started to return just as worse as before.
All this along with trouble sleeping and most meds doctor has given swim not working, is being built up in swim and he feels like he could snap any moment. His parents are not the type you can easily talk to. Hard headed and arrogant father is someone you just dont want to talk to and a mother who if you tell something, she tells father and eventually leads to a frustrating 3+hour discussion where swim does no talking and is just dying for his dad to finish as he has stopped listening since its all close minded, useless and totally incorrect information. Swims sister is more understanding but she, in all swims "clean time", got married and has moved out and far away to live with her husband. He really misses her.Anywho, swim really needs to hear from someone who was forced into kicking their habit as to how they managed to stay clean or if they had any slips back into the trouble of addiction OR anyone who may think they can give swim any sort of tip/hint as to what to do?
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Source: For those Forced into Rehab Kicking the habit
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