Critical Commentary and Suggestions on A Sample Tumor Essay
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Written by: samcollier76
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Date: Tue, 3 Jan 2012 |
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Tumor is a neoplasm that originates due to the abnormal growth of the cells, when students are assigned to write tumor essays they don’t know what to do for mainly two reasons; they don’t know how to deal with the tumor essay and the insufficient amount of knowledge they posses about the term. Even when students are able to complete the essay they commit minor mistakes that they ignore while proofreading. This is how; we are giving a sample tumor essays on which we will be commenting so that student would get an idea on how to analyze their essay writing.
Sample tumor essay:
Waking up to your cousin's voice saying "they took your mom away in an ambulance," is one of the worst ways to wake up, Especially when you are only seven years old. On the night my mom was taken to the hospital many tests were ran on her to see why she suddenly had a very violent seizure. Soon after, they diagnosed her with a cancerous brain-tumor. She held strong through all the surgeries and chemo-therapy sessions that went on for two years. After all the miserable hospital visits she got tired of it and wanted to stay home and forget about treatment - the doctor gave her three months to live. It was almost impossible to crawl out of bed every morning just because I knew that my mom might not be with me anymore. She lived for another six months before she finally passed away. I woke up one morning and walked into the living room where my mom had been living for four months, too weak to walk into her bedroom. My grandmother's eyes were misty and I could tell something was wrong. My dad softly called me over and I shook my head and turned to leave. No news was best for me. My dad called my name again and I turned and walked over to him. He gently sat me on his lap on told me that my mom hadn't made it through the night. I blinked back tears as I ran from the room. I went in my closet and cried. Now I look back at my nine year old self and realize that I knew it was coming, but nobody could ever be prepared for that. My dad taught me not to give up on those you love, but to help them through things the best you can. He was always there for my mom and for us kids. He took care of my mom, the house, and us, and even worked from home so he could be right there. I learned about the will to live and the value of life from my mom who wanted to hold on long enough for us to remember her. This experience in my life has made me stronger. I still go through rough times but I know the importance of looking at the positive side of things. My life was changed forever, but my experience has left me with a positive attitude on life and I thank my mom and dad for it.
Commentary:
Although, the effort of the student is commendable but still there are minor fractions that a student need to consider in the essay again.
1- There are no paragraphs that show about the lack of preparations on the side of the student, many ideas have been portrayed in a single paragraph.
2- If you have noticed; there is a sentence structure problem that has been made bold to highlight.
3- Countless punctuation problems are there in the preceding tumor essay.
Hence, we hope that you have understood the minor mistakes that one should be aware of while writing tumor essay.
Sam Collier is a senior research writer and provide help for tumor essay and tumor essays.Feel free to contact for any sort of help in this regard.
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